Are you serious right now? I’m a fully certified neurosurgeon. I can break into people’s heads and rewire their brains and tamper with their memory, no problem. But this? This juice box? This sugary drink marketed for eight year olds? No. Sticking a straw into this juice container is apparently just too much for me to handle without fucking it up. I’m done. I quit. Goodbye.
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY, CUNTFLAPS! WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID MY YMCA HAD ONE OF THESE FUCKERS. KIDS LITERALLY HAD TO BE TIMED SO THEY DIDN’T TEAR EACHOTHER’S PRE-PUBESCENT DICKS OFF FIGHTING OVER THIS SHIT. FOR FIVE WHOLE MINUTES YOU WERE QUEEN BITCH AND EVERYONE ELSE WERE PLASTIC CHAIRLESS SCUM MOTHERDICKER, IT GOT SO UGLY THAT SOMEONE GOT BANNED FOR FIGHING OVER IT SO THEY SNUCK IN DURING RECESS AND STABBED IT TO DEATH. THEY MASSACRED AN INFLATABLE SEATING OBJECT BECAUSE THEY COULD NO LONGER SIT IN IT FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. SHITS FUCKED UP I’M FUCKED UP
People are asking me if I was the one who stabbed it to death
Keep your snoopin heads out of shit you can’t handle